The Announcement (The Cell Phone Song)
Words by Dottie Burman, Music by Robin Field

Well, before the show begins may I suggest,
You listen very carefully to this request.(ring)

Please turn off your cell phone!
I know it is a swell phone.
But it's the phone from hell phone
When it rings throughout the show.

And please turn off your beeper
And your pager and your palm!
And then turn off the buzzer
On your handy wrist al-ahm!

And if you
Need a candy or a cough drop desperately,
Please unwrap it now,
And give at least one piece to me.

And remember there's no smoking.
I'm allergic! I'm not joking.
You wouldn't want me choking.
Anyhow, that is the law!

I'm sure you've heard these rules before
You're such a savvy crowd.
Remember taking photographs
Is strictly not allowed.

And all recording of this
Show is out of line.
But if you do these things, please note,
The copyright is mine.

I'd like your attention,
Cause I forgot to mention,
I favor noise prevention,
But some noise is really fine.

Don't turn off your laughter
Or applause, I'd be dismayed!
And please be sure you don't turn off
Your trusty hearing aid!

And now I've
Finished my announcement
So I'll go!
Thank you all for listening
And please enjoy the show!


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©Copyright 2002 Burtley Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Licensing & Lead Sheets:
Patricia Norcia   860-669-4244